Getting an “F” in School and in Life

I consider myself a lover of words. I like to listen to the words of others, and I like to write. I think I have had a pretty broad vocabulary all my life, and I like to make good grades too. You would never know this as you discover a minefield of typos in all my posts on all out platforms. I flunked typing class…yes, an all out F indicating a failing grade. A black mark in my academic record. If I were offered the opportunity to retake that class and expunge my academic record, I wouldn’t. For me it would be worse than a waste, and for anyone attempting to help me overcome the appearance of illiteracy, I would not waste their time.

As an aside, if I could touch type, I could also learn to skillfully play and instrument. If I could play an instrument, I would be out sharing my songs CONSTANTLY with anyone who might benefit from hearing. I am here to say that there is some kind of disconnect between my brain and my hands. I could not change it if I tried, and I have really tried.

About a year ago, I applied for a job. it was a part time job, that after a few months it became just a few hours short of full time. I nearly walked out of the interview because I sensed typing -Data Entry was required! But they hired me anyway, as the rest of my skills seemed to be worth trying to navigate the admitted/confessed risks regarding typing. I’m not sure that was a good choice, but somehow, I am retained…but I will tell you, my body and brains are in pain and agony! I am hanging in. I like the way at the end of the daily adrenal exhaustion, there is usually a neatly arranged stack of completed closeout paperwork, and I got to complete it within yards of planes, and all sorts of fantastic aircraft, and people…and I am humbled…so very humbled. Why they want to keep me I will never know…

It is not an easy thing to make a choice to show up, even though you are certain there will be a degree of failure everyday. The typing thing, among a few other glitches in my artsy fartsy non math-seeking brain [ “Look at the bird!”] have proven to keep me at a level of under performance that is driving my nuts, and taking a toll on my body. I stare helplessly, but loyally and committedly into a screen, when there are faces-Faces I cannot look at , and conversations I can NOT afford to have…I am a square peg and a round hole, and an absolute sucker for acceptance…and planes, yes the planes, my office has a wall of windows on the runway side, if I were not maniacally busy I would likely pine that I am not ON them.

I’ve I stayed many months at an almost full time amount of hours, but wanted warned and begged to be cut back to part-time. I knew I was heading for burnout or worse. Recently there has been additional help, and also my hours were reduced one some days, and eventually I will be back to a manageable amount of failure fraught hours. (Its not ALL frustration, I love my co-workers and the customers, and planes, and after many months I know HOW to do all the many tasks. I am tired but sticking with it. This should ease up once back to my original hours. I do so much miss interacting with my organization clients, interacting with people at a more graceful pace, and waking up with the sun.

My plan was to pass flight attendant training, and lay low through the probationary period, to earn the free form jazz of commuting to base,navigating mass transit in a major US city in order to get form my crahspad to the airport, and how to bid trips. BUT that came to naught when my class date was postponed for nearly a year, then revoked, due to the pandemic.

Musically speaking, I was rehearsing a “farewell concert when everything stopped, and changed for what seems like forever. I was going to take a year to fully concentrate on my new job. Well, everyone did that, and I got a essential worker land based job. But, my plan was to shoulder my new load, then take my music and another venture on the road. I was going to build a network of peers in each city, and try to rehearse a 3 song set in order to be ready for any open mic I might be able to find and participate in on layovers. The plan was also for me to create a podcast of interviews with home grown artist like me, on a specific aspect of how we function withing their own spheres of influence.

The best laid plans…Now, I am knocking on different doors, to see if I can get some much needed face to face interactions before my evening shift, whether earning the difference between almost full time to half that, or volunteering. If I do it well, in the future, I might still be able to earn my wings and still remain deeply connected and invested locally. I will keep you posted, and no longer be as secretive about my day job (s.)Yes, most flight attendants have a second job, so its not far fetched. I guess when I was an unpaid parent doing volunteering, I became accustomed to juggling multiple occupations.

For 2 weekends, one in June and one in July, I stepped back into my home organizer for hire role, helping a family to de-clutter and prepare a property for the market.I loved the more relational ad conversational type of interactions with my clients It was utterly brutal to work full time hours over a weekend book-ended by regular near full time work weeks, but it was certainly definitive, and for reasons too complicated to explain in the post, I should be making another album this coming year, if we do not have a repeat of last year.

My empty nest clock began ticking December of 2019. It got off to an amazing start when I put in my application to a major US airline on New Years day at midnight, was interviewed on February 5th, and immediately and extended and Conditional Job Offer, and was scheduled for training in the beginning of April, and then everything changed…

I may have gotten an F in typing, and my posts are chock full of typos, but I was a straight A student in high school, while moonlighting as a corporate flight attendant intern- what an after school job THAT was! I volunteered like crazy and was very engaged socially…then I stopped for several decades to be committed to providing good for 4 other human beings to find thier callings.

If you read this far, thanks for letting me get more personal, now my posts can be a little less ambiguous. Music is just one aspect of the whole. My tag line on Instagram is “I am a bird -I sing, I fly” Sometimes I can figure out how to post there. If my social media platforms ever start looking good, I’m either paying someone else to create content or living a lie. Typos may be my unique seal of authenticity!!!

If you want to hear this, with additional author notes I have been dabbling in turning my posts into podcasts with Anchor on Spotify and you can access that here:


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